In Loving Memory...

I am in the midst of a bittersweet time.

My wonderful, beautiful, amazing grandparents are visiting for three weeks. I feel so fortunate to have been given this extra time to spend with them.

I have been brought back to a time of pure happiness. A year of my life that I probably took for granted while I had it, but nevertheless, was one of the happiest years of my life. My Grandma Doll moved from New Mexico to Georgia to live with my family. Unfortunately, it got to the point where she needed more assistance than we could give her, so we had to send her back to New Mexico to stay in a hospice facility.

After losing my Grandpa Doll when I was in 8th grade, I really treasured the time I was given to spend with her because I never got that extra time with him. I really wish I would have been able to get to know him better, but I was so young, and he lived so far away, that it never really occurred to me the importance of calling to talk to him, or visiting him.

The year my Grandma Doll lived with us was difficult, but I wouldn't have changed it for the world. I spent so much time getting to know her, listening to stories about her life and ultimately learning about my Grandpa vicariously through her. We used to go to lunch regularly, I used to take her shopping or we would go get our nails done. For an entire year, I got to know the Grandma that I always loved, but never really knew. It was so sad when we had to send her back to New Mexico, but we knew it was for the best. She needed too much care and it was more than we could possibly give her at home. I wasn't sure I would ever see her again, so that goodbye was very hard on me.

December of 2008, we received a phone call saying that she wasn't doing well, and if we wanted to see her one last time, we should probably fly to New Mexico as soon as possible. My parents, my brother, Mark, and I flew there a few days later and spent 10 days visiting her in the hospice facility. There were scares pretty much every single day that she wouldn't make it through the night so we spent the majority of our time with her. There was a point where my whole family was around her bed and we were just waiting on her to take her last breath. But, to everyone's dismay, she woke up, asked for a coke and started making jokes. After the 10 days were up, and we had to fly home, we went to see her one last time before we went to the airport. This time, however, I knew was the last time I would ever see her and it was the the hardest goodbye I've ever had to give. But, there was some relief to it as well, because I was actually given the opportunity to say goodbye, which so many people aren't able to get. I was able to tell her how much I loved her and got to hear her say those words to me as well.

Three months later, on March 25, 2009, we received a phone call saying that she passed away. I miss her every day and I think about her nonstop. I wear a bracelet every single day in memory of her and there's not a moment that goes by that I don't cherish that time I was given to get to know her.

Now, I am so blessed to have been given this time with my mom's parents. I am so busy with school and work that I'm not getting to see them as much as I'd like. However, even getting to see them every day and the fact that I get to say good morning to them every morning and good night before bed and be in their presence is enough in itself to be eternally grateful for these three weeks. I hope that this isn't the last time I get to see them. I know they will never be able to come to Georgia again, but I have faith that I will be able to visit them in New Mexico.


What I've learned from the different relationships I've had with my grandparents isn't something I could learn anywhere else. I know my Grandpa Doll loved me, even though we didn't get to show it as much, and I know my Grandma Doll was very grateful for the time she was able to spend with us. And now that my Grandma and Grandpa Purcella are visiting is just reassuring to me that my idea of having a close relationship with family is incredibly important. Never forget to tell someone that you love them and never, ever forget to say your goodbyes. Not everyone is given these opportunities, so if you are lucky enough to, cherish it and don't hold anything back.

This post is for my Grandma and Grandpa Purcella-- I'm so grateful and happy that you guys are here. I love you both and I am looking forward to spending this time with you.

And this is also in loving memory of my Grandma and Grandpa Doll-- I love you both and miss you more than you could ever imagine. I know you two are having a blast up there and I can't wait to see you again someday.

With love,
Jenn